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June 26, 2016

I need healing my marriage and restoration

Ah, that Ferris Wheel Guy.....

June 25, 2016

I have to deal with the health care situation. Ok. I got full time employment in retail at $9 an hour, and my insurance kicked in, and it only costs me $21 a month. However, my take home is just over $1000, and my monthly rent is $675. I have two outstanding student loan debts which I've been able to widdle down to a total of $40 per month, no car payment, good and sober health, but I'm still lonely and not really eating. I snack, mostly. He's got his own apartment too. We've been in love for 13 years, but he is not sober, and he runs decisions on fear, not faith. He's been duped before, years ago, and so does not trust me enough to have a place with me. He thinks I'm going to take away his space and try to make him change who he is if I get too close for too long. God and I have been building this for a very long time, being patient. God has no intent to move me to someone else...that thought makes me angry whenever it is mentioned and is completely absurd as no one knows me like God does. No human has the right answer for me and for my Ferris Wheel Guy. All I know is, I'm having a ton of trouble finding a good job with the right pay and hours to help me make it and build up my family time. My boss is scheduling me to work down town closing a lot and every weekend...until midnight. My guy's got steady hours Monday thru Friday and every 3rd weekend on call. I've just been offered a position as a full time Lead Key Carrier for a nearby retailer whose pay is a dollar more and who closes no later than 10pm, and who only needs me to close a couple nights a week. If I can get them to give me a fairly set schedule over what I have now...which is all over the place, I can better find a second pt wrap around job so that I wouldn't have to have free or very cheap food, and would be able to save a little to finance a better vehicle. All I really need is for us to have one rent instead of two, but it's going to take a lot of prayer to get that to happen as his trust issues go deep. He is a believer, the issue is how to continue to follow God's Path and be the thread in His Tapestry, not the needle or the Hand that weaves it. There's a reason He set in having Himself as the Potter and me and my guy as the clay. When the road is hard, I make sure my lamp is full. I am grateful to have enough for my rent. Thanks for letting me share.


June 25, 2016

Why do I feel like crap all the time. My daughter never speaks to me. She NICE To Her GRANDPARENTS But Will never speak to me and she never sees her grand parents. She had a good childhood why does she hate her mother. It really bothers me. Her brother my son and her father doesn't see it. Theit guys though. I'm sad all the time and want to just go to heaven


June 24, 2016

Please Lord just let this sheriff give me a warning please please.

Looking For That Special Someone

June 24, 2016

I am at the age where most of my peers are married or getting married. All of my closest friends are married. I have been becoming increasingly frustrated with being unable to find my special someone. I go through periods of feeling extremely lonely. I have done a fair amount of dating in the past couple of years but nothing seems to be be a connection. Some lasted longer than others. I was always optimistic and enjoyed the time spent. I have great things going for myself. The only thing that seems to be missing is that special someone. I believe this one was sent from God.... In February of this year I met O from a mutual friend we share. We went on a couple of dates and had a great time. She played a role in getting me back to my faith in the Lord in which I let dwindle for far too long. She brought a happiness to me that had been missing for quite some time. She has a lot of great things going for herself. I thought this was it for sure, things felt great. Then she hit me with...shes not interested. I went through a period of being bummed. With the help of prayer I got myself to a place of peace. Between now I then I found myself thinking of O again. In the last couple of weeks I tried to make contact with her. Only being successful a couple days ago. She's still not interested in pursuing anything. Part of me still holds onto hope it will work out. Part of me is back to being bummed. I felt God sent me on the path to try reconnecting with her. I am asking for prayers that I can find peace with O again. I ask you pray for O to find her own happiness. I ask you pray I can overcome my feelings of loneliness. I ask you pray I will find my special someone no matter how long it takes. I ask you pray I can continue to rebuild my faith in the Lord. I will continue to pray for myself and others. Thank you for your prayers and encouragement..

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